Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he fucked my hip out of place.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
