i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
one might say we're banned from that church
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
