i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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