you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
