ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
