So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
