Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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