It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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