Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
