Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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