Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
