Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
