if you like me you must not know who I am
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
