You really coming over, don't trick.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
