Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
