So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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