I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
