I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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