we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
