Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
vagina is talking i cant
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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