Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
