I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
