Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
