Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
