im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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