it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
