dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
