he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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