Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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