shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Your dad touched me again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
