my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
