Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
