Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
