I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
