"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
