i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
