Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize