I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
