I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
