I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
