Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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