Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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