I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
