Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
