I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
