:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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