When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
