I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
