Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
