We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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