Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
