I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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