I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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