her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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